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Alexa Collins uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, September 21, 2021
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I spent a long time thinking about what I was going to say, and procrastinating on getting it all written down, which many of you know is kind of my signature move. I think I may have put it off for so long because doing this makes it so real, and after I finish saying these words, I’ll have nothing else to use to distract myself from this empty feeling inside of me. I know I speak for all of us here in saying that it seems so unfair that someone as special as my brother could be taken away from us by something like cancer - for this world to tack on another major struggle to his life in addition to the challenges that came with his autism, only to end it too soon. But at the same time, so many blessings came from his illness. After Thomas moved to Florida, it became difficult for our family in a lot of ways, but the hardest thing for all of us was being so far away from him. For me, it was like when he first starting living in his Connecticut group home - despite being slightly jealous that my little brother got to move out before I did, it truly hurt to have my best friend and only sibling suddenly gone. As much as I knew it was for his overall benefit, I missed coming home to him every day and growing up in the same home together. I suddenly transitioned to seeing him once or twice per week on a slower week, as he was now about an hour away from us, but we slowly adjusted to this sad truth. About four years ago, we were forced to face a new reality as a family, and suddenly my brother was hundreds of miles away from us. Now we got to see him a handful of times per year. Eventually, I got used to this too, and I began to focus on building a life and career for myself, so that one day I could move near Thomas and start a family of my own. But focusing on myself meant even more time away from my brother, and before I knew it I was only seeing him for the three big dates - Easter, his birthday, and Christmas. Of course, we always FaceTimed so I could remind him how much I loved and missed him, but Thomas was a man of few words, so conversations digitally weren’t the same as spending long periods of time with him in person. How could he really communicate with me without us having the tools for me to decipher his nonverbal communication? Our best “conversations” were ones where we colored and played and ate together. I missed those days, so as soon as I learned Thomas was sick, I decided I needed to go to Florida. I knew I needed to be there for my brother, to help in any way I can - I needed to be his protective big sister. And suddenly, our family was all under the same roof again, just like the good days. This illness was a curse, because it took my brother away from me too soon. My future children will never meet their Uncle Thomas. My brother won’t get to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day as I always hoped he would. But this illness was also a blessing, because it brought our family back together. I was able to have real conversations with my brother again. Suddenly the memories came flowing back from our glory days as we continued to form new ones. I hate that Thomas was taken from us, but I am beyond grateful for the past six months I got to spend making memory after memory with him. I’m not going to lie to you all - growing up with someone so special like Thomas as my brother wasn’t always easy, but I promise you I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I have always said that without Thomas in my life, I wouldn’t have become someone I liked. Instead, I have been lucky to have been described by my loved ones as all the things Thomas inspired me to become - kind, open-minded, talented, brave, strong. I owe every one of those compliments to my brother. Throughout the years, Thomas gave me (and many others) many memories, teaching us all of life’s most important lessons. For starters, he taught me to enjoy the little things in life and stress a bit less. Holidays and birthdays were hard because we always wanted to buy something new and exciting for Thomas to enjoy, but all Thomas wanted were the same simple things - something sweet, and a new spiral notebook with crayons. We could spend hundreds of dollars on him, but at the end of the day, he’d spend the most time drawing clues in his five dollar notebook with a two dollar box of crayons. As for the sweets, anyone who’s seen the way that boy could eat knows they didn’t last very long, but he loved every second of it. He was a little picky in what he ate, but what he did like, he LOVED - pancakes, cereals (like Frosted Flakes or Cinnamon Toast Crunch), chicken with BBQ sauce, green beans, broccoli, ice cream (usually cookies & cream or cookie dough, but sometimes mint chocolate chip), cookies, peeps, m&ms, pizza - just to name a few. Watching him eat those things with monster bites in seconds flat, only to chug an entire bottle of water in less that two seconds, crushing it into his face to get out every last drop, always made me smile and laugh. He loved to eat, and he wasn’t afraid to show it, proudly showing off his resulting Pooh Bear belly with pride. He taught me to love what I eat and love the body I have, as he walked around the house showing off his grandpa pants, pulled up so high, yet still somehow falling later on, because like many Schuerlein’s, he was cursed with no butt to keep them from falling down (this resulted in the catch phrase “crack kills!” when Thomas was around). He taught me to love all kinds of art, and inspired me to pursue tirelessly at my craft. Even in his last days, as he was in and out of sleep, he would jolt awake and immediately look for his notebook and crayons. He’d force himself to stay awake so he could color until the sun came up. Many of you have seen how intense his coloring could become. Sometimes, he’d color a page with so much crayon that a wax layer began to form on the page, and eventually the wax would begin to scrap off with his crayon strokes. Sometimes, he would pull what I called a “Picasso”, closing one eye and looking really close with the other as he drew. Those sessions would sometimes turn into his squats, in what I believe was an effort to see nothing but the crayon and paper, kind of like from an episode of his favorite show, Blue’s Clues. He formed his legs of steel from coloring in a squatting position for sometimes 30 minutes or more at a time. But even after spending so much time on drawing a single clue, he’d still rip out the page and crumble it up, handing to one of us to throw away for him. He taught me not to be so much of a pack rat, a lesson I could afford to work on a bit more - regardless, we saved a lot of his art, crumbled or otherwise, as you can see from the fraction of our art collection in the album in the back. He taught me to be either a perfectionist or careless, with what I refer to as selective OCD - his room could be a mess, but God forbid you left the cap to the dish soap open. He taught me that that practice helps make perfect, because you’d have to take 100 photos just to get one of him smiling and looking at the camera. But he also taught me that perfect doesn’t always mean better, because those 99 imperfect photos were usually my favorites. He taught me TSL, or Thomas Sign Language - some of his signs were your typical ASL, like “help”, “ball”, or “I love you”, but some of them were closer to slang or all together unique to him, like “ice cream”, “hungry” (this one is closer to the ASL sign for “happy”, funny enough), or my personal favorite, “thank you”, which was more like he was blowing you a kiss. He taught me to stay active, not only with his crazy long squats or while excitedly doing his laps at Mema’s, but also ironically so when we’d jump on the trampoline. I say it’s ironic, because Thomas would be the only person on the trampoline not jumping, but of course he’d pop a squat in the middle and expect for you to launch him up in the air as you jumped. He taught me to love to swim, especially so after we first learned that he could swim in the deep end after he jumped in with no warning, plus the hours spent swimming in Poppy’s pool with all of our cousins. He taught me to travel the world by skadooing like Steve and Blue, because if they can go to space to sing the Planet Song and learn all the planets, I could easily visit other countries to learn about their cultures (but unfortunately, Thomas still could not skadoo into his Terry Town playmat). He taught me that accidents happen, after getting into his first car accident, or cart accident, just a couple of months ago with dad’s golf cart, crashing right into the neighbors garage door. He taught me how to read people with his great judge of character - Thomas usually loved just about every person in his life, but when he didn’t like someone it was obvious, and for a good reason. I sufficiently scared the bejeebers out of every boyfriend I ever had by telling them “if my brother doesn’t like you, then that’s it, it’s over”, because meeting with Thomas was the best way to sort out the bad eggs. He taught me to have less fear and more love, as I watched new people that met him, initially scared of this 250 pound, 6’2” tall man, grow to fall in love with him after learning he’s really just a big teddy bear. Thomas taught me to communicate openly and in many ways, my favorite way being in the shows and movies he watched on his iPad. Over the years, he’d watch things like Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, Dora the Explorer, Rugrats, Toy Story, Jimmy Neutron, Hey Arnold!, and of course, Blue’s Clues, and he wouldn’t just watch them, he’d watch them on repeat. Many of these shows and movies my family knows word for word. With today’s technology, Thomas was able to easily repeatedly play a specific line or scene in what he was watching, many times telling us what it was he wanted to convey. For example, we know he loved this green striped blanket mom made for him, because as he sat under one end while mom crocheted the other, he repeatedly played Steve’s words from Blue’s Clues - “I like stripes”, “I like stripes”, “I like stripes”. He also taught me to listen in many ways too, as I learned to read his body language over the years. Thomas was frequently seen stimming, which is basically repetitive motions that can be used to help cope with emotions, and I learned to know the difference between upset stimming versus happy stimming. I’ll tell you, if he were with us right now, he’d be standing right next to those Blue’s Clues flower arrangements with his face as close as he could get, happily stimming away. Thomas taught me more life lessons than any person could with words, and I know that my brother will continue to teach me things even decades from now as I tell his story to every person I come to know. He has left me with so many memories in such a short period, and they will last me a lifetime. Even though I don’t have the same memory skills that you did Thomas, as I’m sure you remembered every moment since the day you were born, I will never forget our days together. I’ll always remember our younger days growing up together with our sister from another mister, and every time I’m with our cuzzo Christie, I know we’ll feel you with us, and the Three Musketeers will be together again. I won’t easily forget our days sitting in a big storage bin full of beans, or the time you bit my fish in half, or when you destroyed my Harry Potter lego castle just as I was finishing it, or how you’d play in the snow until your lips were blue and Dad had to trick you to go in by dragging you inside on the sled. When looking at pictures, I’ll admire the many faces of Thomas, like the Elvis lip and your cheesy smile. I’ll miss the way you had to check every bag to see what was inside, in case there was something being hidden from you, or when you would assertively grab my hand and drag me over to where I was needed, or how you’d sometimes just become randomly obsessed with my face and happily stim or touch my forehead, teeth, or hair, or smile while looking me in the eyes. Certain types of music and songs will forever remind me of you, and I’ll remember the way you would bounce along to Bob Marley or Spanish versions of kids show songs. I’ll be sure to tell my little ones about the time my friends in elementary school made fun of you, but when I was ready to say I didn’t want to be their friend anymore, our mom taught me that it was an opportunity to teach them more about you so we could all be friends. Or how about all the times with your Proloquo app when you really wanted us to know something, so you’d have your iPad speak it dozens of times? As I go through life, I’ll casually talk about things from your favorite go-to watchables, like Jimmy Neutron’s mom’s bejeebers or the snake in Woody’s boot. Every time I eat ice cream, I’ll wish you were there to steal it from me before I can finish it. I’ll constantly be reminiscing about you with our parents, and I’ll continue to hear stories from days I don’t remember, like how you used to make dad sit in your tent with you all night and you’d come out with an angry face if he left once he thought you were asleep - after all, he should know that this is Thomas’s world, and we’re just living in it. I’ll frequently think about all the clues we drew together and how many times I must have told you to draw water or Steve’s shirt. You know my children and I will watch every single episode of Blue’s Clues, and I’ll be quoting every line and singing along to every song. I could speak about the impact my brother had on not just me or my family, but this whole world, probably forever. There are so many lives he touched, and so many great people that have touched our life’s because of him. Our lives were forever changed for the best the day he was brought into this world, and our hearts forever broken the day he left. I love my brother so much, and I’m so grateful for all the love he had in his life, and all the friends he made along the way. As if more proof of this love, he went by many names over time - Thomas, Tom, Squish, Eugene (that last one was in an effort to guess Thomas’s middle name, which is actually Joesph). He’ll be remembered by so many people in so many ways, because to truly know him was to love him. Thank you to every person who was able to find a friend in Thomas, my brother, my best friend, when my family was unable to be there for him. I wish I could be with him now, but I know as the years go by, our friendship will never die. He’ll always be with all of us.
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Jeanine Pierson Posted Sep 22, 2021 at 1:28 PM
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Maureen Collins Posted Sep 25, 2021 at 3:17 AM
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John, Lisa & Jack posted a condolence
Monday, September 20, 2021
Thomas, you are now free and at peace beautiful boy. Jack loved sending messages and seeing your face as you watched them. You have taught us so much, that life is short and to make the best of it with all who love you. We will always remember how we felt watching you receive your special personalized message from Steve, we watched it over and over. Thank you for showing us life’s simplicity and filled with clues, crayons and notebooks. We will Cherish your videos especially throwing a kiss to Jack and an I Love you. We will see you again when we get there someday….Heaven gained such a sweet special Angel. You will be remembered “to infinity and beyond” Love Cousins, John, Lisa & Jack
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Jeanine Pierson posted a condolence
Monday, September 20, 2021
Thomas, I know your light is shining down so bright on your entire family and all your friends.
"Now it's time for so long but we'll sing just one more song you know with me and you and my dog Blue" we can celebrate a beautiful life lived and a heart so true...
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Joanne Ruggiero posted a condolence
Sunday, September 19, 2021
Thomas, you will alwaus hold a special place in my heart, I think of you often. My two favorite memories of you are 1. watching you swim in the pool at Kreger, how you loved the water! And 2. The way you would take my hand or someone elses to show them something. You were truly a special soul. My heart and condolences go out to your family.
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Connelly Family posted a condolence
Saturday, September 18, 2021
You may be gone from our sight but you will never be gone from our hearts and minds. "Now it's time for so long" until we meet again. We love you Thomas,
Auntie Alicia, Uncle Leo, Kate & Travis
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Ed Diane and Chrissy Brown posted a condolence
Saturday, September 18, 2021
I remember the first time I met Thomas and his family at a Christmas party with my daughter Chrissy at a special adult program in Florida. He was building a gingerbread house with his sweet sister and every now and than he would have a taste of the candy he was decorating his house. Thank you for being a friend to Chrissy and being her dance partner and wonderful friend during your time together. May God bless you with His peace and joy as you are with Jesus in your Heavenly home surrounded by your loved ones who have been waiting for you to arrive.
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Ed Diane and Chrissy Brown lit a candle
Saturday, September 18, 2021
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Jon Barbee lit a candle
Thursday, September 16, 2021
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To know you was to love you! Rest peacefully “Squish”
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DiSunno uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
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Thomas you touched our hearts and left a paw print hole in them. Your beautiful smile and big heart will stay with us forever. Thank you for all the hugs and kisses when ever we asked. I know You are with God and our family of angles in heaven watching over us. We will love you forever. Love Uncle Lon, Aunt Kathy, Amanda and Ray
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Shawn uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
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Shawn lit a candle
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
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To our beloved Thomas,
You will always hold a special place in our hearts.
With all our love,
Shawn, Malu, Johan and Lula
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Uncle Johnny & DeeDee uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
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Our Beautiful Thomas!
There are no goodbyes for us,
Wherever you are
you will always be in our hearts!
Love, Uncle Johnny & DeeDee
XOXOXO
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Maricela Walker posted a condolence
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
These last few months I had the honor to help Thomas’s family care for him! I consider that time as one of the best times of my life! I learned how to draw blues clues, how to draw Steve’s shirt, and I can even memorize the toy story movie in my head now, thanks to Thomas! One night before he went to bed he got up the couch and gave me the biggest bear hug ever! Something Thomas has never done! That moment I will always play in my head.. I love you Thomas until we meet again
You will always live in my heart
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Mary Knabbe posted a condolence
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
Thomas I will always remember the smiling child who took so much joy in the water. Watching you in the pool brought a smile to everyone.
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Jeremy Mendoza uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
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I get weird about death cause I’ve seen it so much, but it’s different when it hits your heart. Thomas was truly one in a billion and I know for sure he’s in heaven. God’s word says so. To infinity and beyond bud. I’ll never forget ya.
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Christine Smalkin posted a symbolic gesture
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas you will always be remembered as the young man that lit up the room with your smile. You will forever shine in your Mom Dad and Sister. We thank God for the special Angel he sent to our family. May you rest in peace until we meet again in Heaven.
You will forever be in our hearts.
All our love.
Aunt Chrissy, Uncle Rick, Jonathan and Joe.
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Susan Cupas uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas i loved our special time together.
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Annie barton lit a candle
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas, you have touched our life with your unconditional love… We are blessed to have you as our nephew. We know you are walking in that magic garden with our love one in heaven, telling stories that you always wanted to tell. You will be forever loved and missed. Forever in our hearts… till we meet again. We love you. Aunt Annie and Uncle Tommy.
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Elaine Hayes uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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I’m thankful for the time I had with you Thomas, I love you. Im certain you are in the loving arms of Jesus. May you have everlasting life in Gods kingdom. Until let meet again…. Thomas May you Rest In Peace….Amen
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Eileen Montleon lit a candle
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas know how much you were loved by everyone you touched in your life. When I think of you I will always remember the little boy who sat on my lap to get his shoes tied and then I would get a big hug from you so sweet . Thanks so much for all the beautiful memories .you will always be in my heart and prayers forever I love you . Love Aunt Leany
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Valerie Schuerlein posted a symbolic gesture
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas, we love you and will miss you so much, you are so special to both of us and we pray that you are with Mema & Popi & your Godparents, Uncle Joey & Aunt Ruthann.
We had such a great time when we visited with you and will cherish that visit forever ❤️ You’re our special Angel up in Heaven and one day we will be together again, love you buddy ❤️
Love, Uncle Mickey and Aunt Val
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Gloria Mirphy posted a condolence
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
I will look at rain drops in a whole new light for the rest of my life- thank you Thomas for that and showing all of us how to take pleasure in all the little things that are around us every day. We will miss your smile Always❤️❤️Aunt Gloria and Uncle Gene
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Samuel lit a candle
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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To my boy Eugene, you will be missed dearly.
Love sam
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Ali Schuerlein uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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When Thomas lived in our house, he used to love coming upstairs and watching the fish tank. He could stand there smiling at the fish for a long time. I loved that he was so amused by them. I know he must have really loved Uncle Joey’s fish tank too because his was 5x the size of ours. Rest in peace Thomas, I hope there is a big fish tank in heaven with you.❤️
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Loretta Gilmour lit a candle
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas, you are so special,and so loved. I know you are in Heaven with Mema and Pop Pop, and Uncle Joey and Aunt Ruthanne. Telling all the stories and thoughts that you couldn't express in this world. Be at peace and know that you are loved and will be missed.
Love Always, Aunt Lorie and Uncle Frank.
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Susan cupas posted a symbolic gesture
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Thomas, you were such a special young man that touched so many lives. You will be greatly missed and forever in our hearts. All our love forever until we meet again in heaven. Aunt Sue and Uncle Nick.
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Maureen Collins lit a candle
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Maureen Collins uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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In loving memory of our son, our sweet special boy, Thomas J. Collins… you have made us the people we are today. You have shown us how to love without conditions. You have taught us diversity. You have shown us not all people communicate in the same way. You have enlightened our hearts in so many beautiful ways. Our son, our beautiful boy… no one can ever fill the void in our souls. You are with us always, forever and ever and we will Always Love You! Love Mommy and Daddy
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The family of Thomas J. Collins uploaded a photo
Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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